One of the things our service plan requires us to think about and prepare for is how we are going to honor the child's past. One of the ways we are going to do this is to talk with her about where she came from and about her birth family. In addition to talking about the birth family, we are fortunate enough that we have built a strong relationship with the birth mom and the birth mom's grandmother. This will help us to ensure she has a strong sense of herself.
Another way we are already honoring her past is celebrating the awesome gift her birth mom is giving to her...her name. We are excited to be a part in the naming process and think that the gift of her name from her birth mom is such an important gift and way she will always know how much she is loved. We are waiting to announce it until she arrives, but we know you will love it just as much as we do!
Part of honoring the past is taking the opportunities to talk about her birth family when we can. It is important for us (and all of you that will meet her someday) to have these conversations and not shy away from them. Being open and honest is the best way to support her while she is growing up and discovering her sense of self. She is going to go through those stages with or without us, so we prefer it to be with us!
We need to not worry about being rejected as her parents. One of the books we read in our preparation (Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge) talks a lot about this fear and how it is just that, a fear. The author points out that in actuality, adoptees feel completely committed and connected to their adoptive families.
Honoring the little girl's past is going to be a lifelong journey as all parenting is, it is just going to be a journey that our family takes.